Common words, uncommon meanings

Like many word lovers, I’m a big fan of neologisms—new words or new meanings for established words.

Although some of you may already be familiar with these, I think they’re worth repeating (because they’re just so good!):

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

And a few of my own:

Blockhead (n.), in football, an illegal defensive move.

Ex-terminator (n.), Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Superficial (adj.), containing a large volume of coldblooded vertibrates.

Syllogize (v.), to tell foolish stories about the deceased.

What neologisms do you have to offer?

12 Responses to “Common words, uncommon meanings”

  1. October 22nd, 2008 | 10:30 am

    Crap, Rebecca! That would require thought on my part, and I don’t have time for that—I’m editing! :)

    I totally enjoyed these! My favourites were negligent and oyster. Hahaha!! I also loved your own…I’ll have to see if I can come up with some soon. It’s a good game. I make up my own spellings and words all the time. It’s a habit I’ve developed from reading academic writers: they do it all the time!! :)

  2. October 22nd, 2008 | 12:32 pm

    Hey, Steph -
    Yea, “oyster” is one of my favorites too. Reminds me of Krusty the Clown. Surprisingly, I came up with mine pretty quickly by just flipping through the dictionary (no wonder they’re so lame …). ;)

  3. October 22nd, 2008 | 4:13 pm

    These are awesome! Word games are so much fun, especially when we get to toy with the meanings of words. This reminds me a little bit of the game Balderdash, in which you make up fake definitions for words and your opponent has to guess which one is correct. Fun fun fun!

  4. October 22nd, 2008 | 9:17 pm

    Melissa: Balderdash IS a fun game! Now I want to play -

  5. October 23rd, 2008 | 10:01 am

    Negligent…this reminds me of a hilarious story about the Urbane Lion. Picture the Urbane Lion in just his Joe Boxers AND his cooking apron on. Now picture him talking on the phone to his mother. Now picture him absentmindedly heading out the door to look at the flowers in the garden, while talking to his mother on the phone, while still in only his Joe Boxers and his cooking apron.

    Of course, when he got back inside and realized what he had potentially exposed the neighbours to, I got in shit for allowing him to go outside like that! *chuckle*

  6. October 23rd, 2008 | 3:23 pm

    LOL, Urban Panther! What a funny story. I really could picture it in my mind. You should have grabbed the camera!

  7. October 24th, 2008 | 12:59 am

    I had an Ozzie girlfriend a few years back. She taught me (pardon my language) the word “Fuckwit” (For those of you not from Oz, it’s self-explanatory…meaning person of low intelligence and/or poor social skills).

    Okay, I know the language is a bit crude, but that’s such an ELOQUENT use of the F-word. I think it’s AWESOME and it should be used more often.

    I’ve been trying to introduce F-wit to Canada but it dosent’ seem to be catching on just yet.

    Just give me time. :-)

  8. October 24th, 2008 | 11:40 am

    If anyone could make the F-word acceptable in an entire country, it’s you, Friar. (Although I’m not quite sure that Splat Creek would ever embrace it …) ;)

  9. October 24th, 2008 | 3:12 pm

    Oh, these are fun!

  10. October 26th, 2008 | 6:03 pm

    Thanks, Lori. So glad you think so!

  11. October 26th, 2008 | 9:28 pm

    LOL! Well abdicate made my not totally flat belly laugh! These were really good! I can’t think of any others because I’m laughing too hard.

  12. October 27th, 2008 | 7:19 pm

    Thanks, Karen! Everyone needs a good laugh every now and then. ;)

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